Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookies

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As I mentioned in my post on dealing with sugar cravings during pregnancy, one of my favorite ways to allow myself to indulge in a sweet treat every now and then is to simply make a healthier version myself and keep them at home.  That way I know exactly what ingredients are inside and can more or less control the amount of sugar than I’m consuming.  That being said, a lot of baking experiments happen in my kitchen.  Here is the result of one of them, and I am so excited to share them with you today.

This recipe is super simple, relatively quick, and definitely offers a healthier option if you L-O-V-E chocolate chip cookies as much as I do.  These cookies turned out fluffy and perfectly sweet, and you definitely need to try them. Like today.

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Closeup of the melty, chocolate-y goodness inside.

Ingredients:

  • 2 tablespoons of coconut oil
  • 4 tablespoons of sugar free maple syrup (I use Cary’s because it’s super cheap at Walmart)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 cups almond flour
  • 1 scoop of vanilla whey protein powder (my favorite brand is Gold Standard Whey by Optimum Nutrition)
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or dark chocolate, whatever you prefer!)

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
  3. In a large bowl, slightly melt the coconut oil and mix it well with the maple syrup.
  4. Add the egg and vanilla to the coconut oil mixture.  Mix with a whisk until nice and smooth.
  5. In a separate medium bowl, add the almond flour, protein powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.  Mix until well combined.
  6. Add the flour mixture into the bowl with the coconut oil mixture.  I like to use a rubber spatula to combine them, because the dough gets all stuck inside the whisk and you are definitely not going to want to waste any of this cookie dough!
  7. Fold the chocolate chips into the dough.
  8. Use a tablespoon or a regular spoon to spoon the dough onto the cookie sheet.  This dough is a little sticky, so don’t say I didn’t warn you!  I got 10 medium/largish-sized cookies from my batch.  Make them slightly smaller and you could easily get an even dozen.
  9. Bake for 10-12 minutes until cookies just start to turn slightly golden on top.  It’s important not to over bake these to ensure maximal fluffiness.
  10. Let cool for 10-15 minutes before enjoying!  Store in an airtight container in your fridge for up to 5 days.

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In case you’re the type of person that cares about these sorts of things (which I’m totally not right now), here are the nutrition facts per cookie:
Calories: 255.2
Protein: 9g
Carbohydrates: 13.5g
Fat: 19.5g
Sugar: 7.6g
Fiber: 3.4 g
*these numbers are based on a batch of 10 cookies.  For more cookies, numbers will be slightly less.

Hope you all enjoy!

Hold the Pickles, Pass the Ice Cream

The Gummy Bear Files, Part III – Dealing with sugar cravings during pregnancy.

Snapseed (5).jpg“Are you having any weird cravings?!”  This is the number one question I have been asked since becoming pregnant.  And the answer is, NO.  I am not having any weird cravings.  No pickles and ice cream for me.  My doctor even told me about women that have craved fresh mud when pregnant (ew).   Definitely also not me.

Now let me clarify something.  I said I was not having weird cravings, but that does not mean I am not having any cravings.  Namely I am having cravings for one thing only: SUGAR.  Before getting pregnant I was on a very low-carb (almost zero sugar) diet.  Before I even knew I was pregnant my desire for cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and all things sugary and sweet skyrocketed and I did not understand why.  I found it really  stressful to deal with, and in the beginning of my pregnancy I gave in to those cravings.  A LOT.  I gained more weight in my first trimester than I needed to, but this is also my first pregnancy and I have definitely learned from this experience.

I told myself that it was okay to eat whatever I want because I was pregnant.  But in all honesty this is not actually true.  When you are pregnant it is even more imperative to maintain a healthy and balanced diet.  Everything that you put into your body is going to be broken down and digested by the baby as well.  And with my family history of diabetes, there is always a chance that I could develop gestational diabetes.

My challenge became: How can I manage my sugar cravings without completely going off the rails? 

Here are my tips for doing just this…

  1. Make sure you are eating a healthy, balanced diet. Include plenty of lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, some starches, and healthy fats.  Whole foods keep you full much longer than processed sweets.  Oftentimes if I’m craving something sweet I literally just eat a regular meal of chicken and veggies.  I promise you there’s no more room for a dessert after that.
  2. Eat 5-6 smaller meals throughout the day, rather than eating 3 large meals.  Not only will this keep your blood sugar from crashing at any point, but it is also incredibly useful for keeping that pregnancy reflux and excessive bloating at bay.  Trust me.  If you eat too much your already growing and swollen belly will not feel very good.
  3. Keep sugar out of the house! This is pretty common sense, but if sugary foods are not easily accessible to you, you will think twice about having to do the extra work to obtain them.  Set yourself up for success.  If you know that you won’t be able to stop at just one serving of ice cream, don’t leave the grocery store with a pint of your favorite flavor!
  4. Fruits.  I always keep my fridge stocked with fresh strawberries, blueberries, and apples.  The fructose in these is usually enough to satisfy your sugar cravings, plus fruits have nutrients in them that you won’t find in that pack of oreos.  Win-win.
  5. Distract yourself.  If you’ve just eaten a meal and find yourself yearning for an unnecessary dessert, distract yourself by going for a 15-20 minute walk.  Not only are you getting a little bit of movement and exercise, but by the time you get back you probably won’t even be thinking about those donuts that were on your mind before you left.  Endorphins from exercise can be just as satisfying as the high you get from a sugary treat.
  6. Drink a glass of water.  When that mid-afternoon hankering for a cookie sets in, drink a full glass of water.  Sometimes your brain mistakes thirst signals for hunger.  You’ll get a little extra hydration, plus the water will take up the space in your stomach where that cookie would have resided.
  7. Delete food delivery apps if necessary.  Fortunately (and unfortunately) we live in a world where your significant other does not have to run to the grocery store at 10 pm to pick up whatever sweets you might be craving.  It is so simple to just push a few buttons on our iPhones and someone will deliver fresh baked cookies (or even Dunkin Donuts!) right to your door.  If you find yourself falling back on Postmates or UberEats on a regular basis, even if you are not keeping sugary foods in your house, do yourself a favor and just delete the app until your pregnancy is over.
  8. Don’t restrict ALL the time.  Allow yourself to a indulge a little every once in a while.  If you always say no, you will wear out your willpower muscle and this can lead to binges and overeating.  I like to set parameters with myself.  5 days of the week I do not allow myself to have any sugar.  That gives me two days of flexibility, so if I go out to eat with friends and decide to partake in dessert, I won’t feel so guilty.

One of my favorite ways to allow myself to indulge a little in dessert is to make healthier options to keep at home.  I love to experiment with low-carb and low-sugar baking.  If I have an absolutely unbearable craving for something sweet, I like to at least know exactly which ingredients (and how much) are in what I’m eating.  In fact, in my next post I’m super excited to share one of my favorite recipes for almond flour chocolate chip cookies with you all!

Most importantly, remember to go easy on yourself! If you do eat something sweet you hadn’t planned on, don’t beat yourself up!  It already happened, just keep moving on and make sure to have plenty of vegetables in your next meal.  It is absolutely OKAY to treat yourself every once in a while, just make sure the bulk of your diet comes from healthy, whole foods.  This is true of anyone, but especially for pregnant women like me, who are using all of our resources to grow tiny and healthy humans!

Pregnancy, PCOS, and Paleo

The Gummy Bear Files, Part II

Let’s talk about some girl problems today. And perhaps you’ll start to see just why I consider me getting pregnant such a miracle. I have never had normal periods. From the time I was 14 years old I always struggled with debilitating cramps and pain, so bad that I would even stay home from school some days. Obviously this wasn’t normal. Soon after, my first gynecologist discovered that I had some cysts on one of my ovaries, and at the tender age of 14 I was put on oral contraceptives because this was the only way to make the cysts go away and achieve some sort of normalcy in my cycle.

Fast forward 10 or so years and I had more or less been on the pill consistently THIS. WHOLE. TIME. In fact, it got to the point that any months I spent not taking the pill I simply wouldn’t even get a period. I sometimes would stop taking it because of worries that long term use would affect my fertility. After one of these 3-4 month stretches of consciously not taking my pill and not having a period, I decided to bring it up at my annual check up.

I was about 23 or 24 and this time I was officially diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (or PCOS). Again, my new doctor told me that the only way to control the cysts is to consistently take an oral contraceptive. He also mentioned at this appointment (and I will never forget these exact words) “That when I am ready to start trying to get pregnant we will need to have a whole other conversation.” He made it very clear that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant naturally with PCOS.

This is not surprising, as infertility or complications with getting pregnant is one of the most common PCOS symptoms. My aunt suffered from PCOS and had to undergo many stressful and expensive fertility treatments before finally getting pregnant around age 35 or 36. Once pregnant, she also developed gestational diabetes. Not sure if these are necessarily related, but maybe. Insulin is one of the hormones involved in PCOS so it would make sense that these two conditions would be comorbid (comorbidity, noun, the presence of two or more simultaneous medical conditions, for you non-science geeks out there).

So with a familial history of PCOS (my maternal grandmother also had it) how did I manage to so easily and unexpectedly find myself expecting a little one?? Could LIFESTYLE have anything to do with it? Honestly, I 100% believe that this is the case. Let’s discuss further, but first a disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A DOCTOR, JUST SOMEONE WITH ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE WHO HAPPENS TO ENJOY EDUCATING MYSELF ABOUT NUTRITION AND THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY.

For those of you that don’t know, the symptoms of PCOS can include the following:

  • Abnormal menstruation – either a lack there of or extremely heavy menstruation; lack of ovulation
  • Fatigue
  • Weight gain
  • Pelvic pain
  • Unwanted hair growth
  • Mood changes – mood swings, depression, anxiety (my adolescence was definitely wrought with plenty of depression…)
  • Acne
  • Infertility
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By no means did I experience all of these, but many of them have affected my life at one time or another. The depression was a big factor in my life up until the last couple years or so. I’ve suffered with mild acne, fatigue, and most definitely the complete absence of periods for months at a time. In fact, the doctor had a hard time determining my due date because I had been off the pill since about January 2018, had my first “normal” period on March 28 and then never had one again after. Yet there I was in early September already 9 weeks pregnant. That means I had gone at least 3-4 months without having a seemingly “normal” cycle. Yet apparently I was.

Around the same age I was diagnosed I had also become addicted to crossfit. And as so often happens when one discovers crossfit, my eyes were opened to a whole new universe of nutrition, fitness, and lifestyle changes. I didn’t embark on my crossfit journey without rearranging almost every aspect of my life to supplement that journey.

I started consistently getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night. I began educating myself about the structure of the human body and about how sports performance is affected by nutrition. I read books about the paleo diet and that evolved into me following a low-carb ketogenic diet for almost 2 years straight. I cut out ALL processed foods, sodas, almost all sugar. I couldn’t even touch a food item in a plastic wrapper without cringing. I taught myself how to cook (and VERY WELL, I might add) so that I could make all my healthy food at home. If I was ever in a situation where I didn’t know the exact ingredients present in the food I was eating, I almost couldn’t even bring myself to put it in my body.

Every day for breakfast I had scrambled eggs with spinach and bell peppers, with 1-2 strips of bacon. For lunch I would always have chicken or ground turkey with kale or broccoli and carrots or cauliflower or some combination of vegetables. Every night we would cook dinner at home which always followed a simple formula: one type of meat, one vegetable, and a serving of healthy fats. One of my favorite examples of this is a little grass fed steak served with roasted Brussels sprouts and half an avocado. It became so incredibly simple to eat healthy. I just tried to include as many vegetables as possible, and the more I tried the more I loved them and loved experimenting with different ways to prepare them.

I was DISCIPLINED. I denied myself desserts, and the more I did the easier it became. It’s crazy how the more you eat vegetables and lean proteins and other healthy foods, the more your body craves that sort of food and rejects what was previously deemed “normal”. I was disciplined and I saw results. I lost that little bit of extra body fat (I was never super overweight), but more than that I saw my body composition changing completely. I developed muscle tone and I looked and felt FIT. Even more importantly, I felt STRONG and HEALTHY.

I started getting sick less and less and my stamina in my day to day life improved. I had (and more or less still have, despite growing a human inside me) SO MUCH MORE ENERGY. Two or three years into this lifestyle change I went back to my gyno and never had the cysts again. At this point I was still on (and occasionally off) the pill. So obviously, that had to be the reason for the management of my PCOS symptoms right?

There are plenty of anecdotes on the internet of women who have decreased or even reversed PCOS symptoms on a low-carb or ketogenic diet. I feel like I am one of those anecdotes. I genuinely believe that my fertility health was positively affected by my long term and consistent dedication to health and eating good quality foods. I spent so much of the first half of my twenties so anxious that I would never be able to have my own children. That I would never be blessed enough to get to experience growing a life inside of me. Even after hearing countless nutritionists and even Robb Wolf himself (go check out his podcast The Paleo Solution, it is geeky, informative and all-around awesome) declare the link between the ketogenic diet and improvement with PCOS symptoms.

For all the anecdotal evidence, there has unfortunately not been many scientific research studies done on the subject. One such study was conducted by researchers at Duke University, on eleven women with PCOS over a 6 month period. The women followed a low carb, ketogenic diet (less than 20g of carbs a day) and by the end of the study had improvements in body weight, percent testosterone, and fasting insulin levels. Two of the women in the study even became pregnant, despite suffering from previous infertility problems!

Now, as someone who’s respectful of the scientific method it’s important to point out that one study (or even a few studies) does not necessarily prove causation. At best, this study reinforces the link between insulin levels and PCOS and warrants more extensive research. Despite this, I think the myriad examples of anecdotal evidence of women whose lives have been changed by following a low-carb lifestyle merits giving it a try for yourself.

If you’re trying to get pregnant but have been finding it difficult, whether due to PCOS or not, take a look at your lifestyle. Maybe it’s time to evaluate some of your habits and change them for the better. It’s never too late to start exercising and it’s never to late to follow a diet rich in quality foods, and low in processed, sugar “foods”. (I put that in quotations because an apple is a real food. The unpronounceable chemicals in the ingredient list on a plastic wrapped cookie are NOT real foods.)

I believe that you have the power to create lasting, positive changes in your health based on your daily habits and the nutrition choices you make each day. Day to day it may be difficult to detect any differences, but then all of a sudden three years have passed and you realize how much weight you’ve lost, or that you can run three times farther than you ever were able before, or that you have a baby on the way when you never even thought you’d be able to conceive. Little changes add up to make a BIG DIFFERENCE.

Thus concludes part II of my pregnancy journey. (To read Part I click HERE). I’m so ecstatic to be sharing my emotions and experiences with you all. If you continue to follow along, even if you don’t learn something I hope to at least provide some entertaining reading material. Thanks for reading, and look out for my next post on DEALING WITH SUGAR CRAVINGS IN PREGNANCY in a few days.

Happy holidays and happy new year!!

100 Days of Tracking Macros

(Or Why I Deleted MyFitnessPal)

This morning I logged into MyFitnessPal, just as I have done religiously for 102 days straight (apparently), and kind of had an epiphany/breakdown.  This past May, I joined a certain online nutrition program that will remain nameless because I still really idolize, respect, and look up to the owner as a person.  They are doing great things for many people and putting a lot of amazingly positive content into the world that I still read daily.  I think I am coming to the conclusion that tracking my food just isn’t for me (and may not be for everyone), for reasons that I will elaborate on shortly.

I did not join because I needed to lose weight, or needed to get a certain physique for a competition, or anything like that.  I joined simply looking for a way to increase my nutrition knowledge and take myself to “the next level” (whatever that is).  I was already looking great and feeling great, having followed a relatively keto lifestyle for more than a year.   I guess you could say I had more or less figured out what worked for me.

I never tracked my food.  I ate when I was hungry and fasted when I was not.  I did not weigh myself for months at a time and would be remarkably surprised on those rare occasions that I did weigh myself and find that I had lost weight.  I ate mostly protein, vegetables, and fat.  Coming from a historically very disordered relationship with food and borderline sugar addiction, I felt I had these both under  control.  I rarely had cravings for sugar or dessert, and did not think about the quantity of food that I ate on a minute-to-minute basis.  For me quality became the most important factor.

Anyways, for whatever reason, I decided to blow almost $500 in order to have someone tell me exactly how much food I am supposed to eat each day.  All of a sudden quantity took center stage again.  I had to make sure I ate exactly the number of grams of protein, carbs, and fat that were prescribed to me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  Even if I did not feel hungry, I was expected to eat them.  Which more often than not resulted in me stuffing myself at the end of each day, just to hit my numbers.

From 0 to 200.  Real Quick.

The main issue I had right at the start was the fact that I was assigned to eat 200 grams of carbs a day.  200?!  The number alone made my head spin.  I had spent the last almost two years eating less than 70 grams a day.  I got my carbs from vegetables and the occasional sweet potato and that’s about it.  At the time I was not eating fruit (even though I LOVE fruit), and honestly feel that this played a huge factor in the drastic reduction of my sugar cravings.  Sugar acts like a drug on the brain, releasing dopamine and all the happy feels whenever it is consumed.  The more you introduce sugar to your body (even in the “innocuous” form of fructose), the more the body craves it.  Take out sugar altogether, and eventually the cravings simply disappear.

Now here I am, trying to fill in 200 grams of a macronutrient that I am simply not used to consuming.  My coach recommended sweet potatoes, mangoes, bananas, apples, oatmeal, quinoa.  Not only did I start eating a TON of fruit (HELLO, SUGAR!) but reintroducing long-absent grains back into my diet.  All of a sudden I’m drizzling honey on my fruit because, hey, there’s 17 more grams of pure carbohydrate to bump up my numbers.  Needless to say, my sugar cravings came back at full force with a vengeance, and I am still battling them today.

Where I expected to lean out and gain muscle, I instead started to feel overfed, bloated and fat all the time.  I don’t know whether I was actually in a state of ketosis before, but I definitely was used to fasting at more regular intervals.  If I didn’t feel hungry I simply wouldn’t eat breakfast in the morning.  Now I was force feeding myself just to make sure the numbers on MyFitnessPal were approved by another person each day.

Eating out at restaurants became a HUGE stressor as well because I felt compelled to exactly, accurately track every single morsel of food that went into my body.  If I felt like I didn’t have control over the ingredients going into my food, then I didn’t have control over my nutrition and that somehow that made me a failure.  I felt that even one day of not having control would completely set me back in my fitness goals.

Abs to Flabs

The irony of this nutrition program is that it is supposed to heal your relationship with food and help you realize that it’s okay to be flexible in what you eat.  If you look on instagram, there are boatloads of success stories.  Side by side images of people with flab and then well-defined abs 4-8 weeks later.  Honestly, I pretty much already had visible abs when I started the program.  But week after week, as I continued to trust the process, I watched in horror as my abs became softer and less noticeable.  How did I seem to be the ONE PERSON not achieving great results with this program?!  I know that I was not cheating.  I am so strict with myself about what I eat (almost to a harsh and negative degree), that I did the program exactly as I was supposed to.

I started compulsively weighing myself each day.  I did not feel that I was gaining muscle (certainly doesn’t look like it), yet I was seeing the number on the scale slowly creeping up.  I panicked.  How do I get the number to go back down?!  When did everything get so out of control??  I was weighing and measuring all my food to the gram, much to the annoyance of everyone in my family, and tracking everything in MyFitnessPal just like I was supposed to.  And yet every day I felt worse.  I felt physically worse and mentally worse.

Where I was supposed to “heal” my relationship with food, I actually created an anxious cloud of unhappiness and guilt.  If I couldn’t track it, it was somehow “immoral”.  If I went over my calories or one of my macronutrient numbers I was hammered with guilt and feelings of shame.  After two months I decided to cancel my subscription of this service, only to be told I had to be billed for one more month because I had agreed to a three-month minimum commitment.

That’s fine.  I paid for the last month but I did not log in or check in with my coach.  I tried to readjust my macros on MyFitnessPal to resemble a more ketogenic style of eating.  I continued to track, but still felt immense guilt and failure when I did not hit my self-imposed macro numbers.

I’m A Slave 4 Food

(Yes, in my mind I sang that to the tune of the Britney Spears song).

As the summer progressed, I realized that I had become a slave to my thoughts about food.  I thought about food literally ALL.  THE.  TIME.  I woke up with cravings for breakfast (usually something sweet), and as soon as I finished breakfast I was thinking about lunch. As soon as I finished lunch I was planning what to make for dinner.  After dinner I was battling the desire for dessert.  I have been going through periods of extreme restriction and then breaking down and eating unhealthy desserts because at times the willpower simply requires too much mental energy to maintain.

I feel bloated all the time and I feel inconsistent with my nutrition and I don’t like what I see in the morning when I look in the mirror.  I used to wake up full of energy with a flat stomach, and if it bloated during the day because of veggies (yes, I love broccoli and cauliflower but they do cause temporary bloat), the next morning I would always feel brand spanking new again.  Somewhere, despite the extreme illusion of control created by tracking, weighing, measuring, and reporting my food, I went off the rails.  WAY off.  And I can’t seem to find my way back to being okay like I was before.

Food has simultaneously become a source of pleasure and a source of guilt.  I eat for pleasure then immediately feel guilty if I overeat or consume something that doesn’t “fit my macros”.  Somewhere along the way I have stopped speaking to myself with kindness when it comes to food.  I know I am not fat, I know that most of this is in my head.  I am beyond a Type A personality.  If there was a letter before A, I would be that type.  Seriously.  I like to control everything.  And feeling so out of control with my eating has caused me a lot of cognitive dissonance.

Should You Track?

Ultimately it’s up to you.  If you are someone that really needs to lose a lot of weight and has a hard time controlling what you eat, then the discipline instilled with tracking might actually do you a great service.  If you aren’t as educated about food quality or have never learned about proper quantity as it relations to nutrition, then I highly recommend finding a nutrition coach to help you get started in your journey.

However, if you are someone like me, who is already very good about eating wholesome, healthy foods, and tends to have a somewhat disordered relationship with food, I do not recommend including tracking or weighing food into your routine.  I became unhealthily obsessive about tracking my food to the point that it consumes most of my thoughts.  It became a direct reflection of my self-worth as a person.  If I am under my calorie goals, then I am worthy, but if I go over any of my numbers somehow I am not worthy.  Trust me, I know it sounds crazy.  But that’s just the nature of eating disorders.

Tracking macros can easily give way to these unhealthy obsessive thoughts which in turn can result in restrictive eating patterns.  Or the opposite: making unhealthy food choices on a much more frequent basis simply because it “fits in your macros” for the day.  I was adding honey, cashew ice cream, excess fruit, frozen waffles into my daily eating routine simply because I needed to “fill in the carbs”.  And now that I am trying to remove those sugar cravings and go back to eating real foods that make me feel good, it is EXTREMELY HARD.  My brain is screaming at me to eat chocolate chip waffles for breakfast, when I know my body feels so much better when I have scrambled eggs with spinach and peppers.

MyFitnessPal is not my Pal.

I am not saying tracking is not for anyone, but it is not for everyone.  I made a nutrition move that I thought would benefit me in the long-term, and now feel like I am picking up shattered pieces of myself as I go.  I feel like I have to repair my relationship with food and a big reason for this blog post was to kind of work out my anxieties and put them onto paper. (You know what I mean).  I know there’s no end goal to nutrition.  You don’t just get to a certain place and that’s where you stay for the rest of your life.  It’s a constant balance of lifestyle and eating what’s good for your body at that particular moment.  I’m hopeful that I will get out of this rut.  It seems like the more I try to regain control, the more out of control things get.

So today I simply decided to let go.  I deleted MyFitnessPal from my phone (!!) and for the first time in 102 days, I could not tell you exactly how many calories I ate today. I cannot tell you how many grams of carbs, fat, or protein.  I am just going to eat when I am hungry and not eat when I am not hungry.  I am going to gradually reduce my sugar intake, in hopes that the rampant cravings will slowly subside.  I will love myself, even if I eat something “unhealthy” and I will love myself when I have a perfect day of nutrition.  I will no longer be a slave to my kitchen food scale or to my bathroom scale.

In the end, it is important that I nourish my body and my mind.  Obsessively tracking all my food was doing neither of these, and so today I have said goodbye.