Easy to be heavy, hard to be light

“It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light.” – G.K. Chesterton

I recently heard this quote, and absolutely cannot get it out of my head.

Why does it ring so true?  Why do I feel like this is so applicable to my life and my behavior?  Why do I find it so much less effortful to automatically react negatively to situations?  Do other people feel this way as well?  Do most people?

A few days ago, my boyfriend went to Publix (an amazing grocery store chain, for those of you not from the southeastern United States) to get some sandwiches for us for lunch.  In my typical persnickety, particular fashion, I had my boyfriend write out exactly what I wanted on my sandwich, expecting that he would read my instructions verbatim to the sandwich maker.

A six inch ultimate sandwich, with pepperjack cheese, on whole wheat bread, toasted.  Plus lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, green peppers, olive oil, salt, and pepper.  Simple, right?  Not at all demanding?

I stayed home with the baby while he went, but was already hungry, and really looking forward to my sandwich.  It felt like he took forever to return.  I was practically waiting at the window with the baby, watching for his car to pull into the driveway.

When he got back, he took out the two sandwiches, and I eagerly began to unwrap my half.  Before I could even get the paper off I noticed a familiar yellow tinge bleeding through the white paper and my heart sank.  I hate mustard on my sandwiches.  My boyfriend noticed my unease and remarked disdainfully, “Yeah, I think she might have put mustard on one side.”

I was angry.

I was angry at the sandwich lady for what I assumed to be an inability to follow instructions. (Yes, probably very unfair).

But even more so, I was angry at my boyfriend.  He must not have been paying attention when the lady was making the sandwich.  He should have checked it for correctness before he paid.  Doesn’t he KNOW that I don’t like mustard on my sandwiches?

I was pouting like a child.  I withdrew into myself and tried to scrape the mustard off the bread, but my efforts were fruitless.  The mustard had already soaked itself into the very fibers of the bun as mustard tends to do.  I ripped the bread to pieces trying to remove the mustard, and ended up just toasting two slices of bread we had at home and putting the filling of my sandwich inside.

Of course during all this time, it was painfully obvious that my mood was soured.  Over a sandwich.  I was barely talking to my boyfriend as I indignantly ate my Frankenstein sandwich.  Granted, even with switching out the bread, the sandwich was still delicious.  It was just easier to be angry and place blame than it was to simply let it go.

It was easier to be heavy, than to be light.

My natural instinct was to be bitter about the sandwich, rather than to be grateful that my boyfriend had used his time (and money) to go get us lunch on a weekday – something that we normally never do.  I finished the sandwich, which I had actually enjoyed very much, and gave my boyfriend a hug.  I swallowed my stupid little pity party and decided to be light about the situation.  I apologized for my behavior and thanked him for going to get the sandwiches for us.  He wasn’t upset and the atmosphere of heaviness that had been in the air for the last 15 minutes or so cleared out completely.  The atmosphere of heaviness that I had created.

I feel like we encounter so many moments each day, where things do not go exactly as we expect.  In these moments we have a choice to make.  It is easy to be heavy and let irritation or disappoint spoil your mood (and probably those of anyone around you).  But I promise, you will be much happier if you take the little bit of extra effort and try to find the positivity in the situation.

 

 

Sunday Rituals

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Clean out your fridge weekly.  An organized space lends itself to an organized mind.  Plus no one likes old food in their fridge.

We all have them.

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, my Sunday ritual consisted of recovering from Saturday night.  Maybe sauntering to a midday brunch with friends where I would continue my “recovery” with bottomless sugary mimosas that left me feeling sluggish and out of commission for the rest of the day.  Daytime drinking coupled with poor food choices throughout the weekend would leave me feeling bloated and guilty on Monday morning.

Daytime drinking is also not very conducive to the productive sorts of activities that promote readiness and success for the upcoming week.  I arrived at work on Monday not only feeling a complete lack of physical rejuvenation, but a lack of mental revitalization as well.  Somewhere along the way, as I matured and started integrating more mindful and healthful habits into my life, I found my Sunday priorities drastically shifting.

There is something so satisfying and refreshing about waking up on Monday morning knowing that things in your life have been literally and figuratively put back into their proper places.  I no longer drift through my Sundays dreading the week to come, rather I intentionally prepare myself to be as successful as I can for the week.  I am a firm believer that how you spend your Sunday will completely set the tone for the following week.  If you fail to prepare, you will be frantic and stressed on Monday morning, and that attitude will carry itself throughout the remainder of the week.

It is important to engage in activities that make your home feel organized, as well as your mind.  This way you can arrive into the week with a tranquilly clean slate.  Exactly how you choose to prepare for your week is up to you, but here are the activities that I engage in every Sunday (yes every) in order to ensure that my life is in order.  Some of these things may seem boring or mundane, but I find that I actually quite enjoy my Sundays and even look forward to this process.

5 Sunday Success Habits

  1. Cleaning – I am actually the most OCD person, so I tend to clean a little bit each day rather than saving it all up for the weekend.  I wake up with so much energy on Sunday mornings that I usually spend about 30-45 minutes doing this first thing  just to get it out of the way.  Whether I need to sweep the floor or straighten our bedroom, I just. DO. IT.  Keeping your space clean and organized will help your mind stay organized.
  2. Laundry – Is there anything better than starting the week with fresh smelling clothes? This is especially true when you basically live at the gym. I never start Monday morning with dirty clothes in the hamper.  Also, never leave dirty clothes on the floor or on “that chair” (you know the one).  It literally takes .037 seconds to throw those socks into the hamper *ahem men in the house ahem*.  If you like multi-tasking like me, throw one load of laundry in and then start your cleaning while the clothes wash.
  3. Church – Maybe you are not very religious.  I haven’t always been, if I’m being perfectly honest, but we go to an amazing church (check it out: Vous Church) here in Miami.  Every Sunday we leave the sermon SO PUMPED to be our best selves.  It’s a chance for self-reflection and a chance to refocus on what is important in your life.
  4. Groceries/Mealprep – My boyfriend and I have been mealprepping our lunches for almost two years now.  Every Sunday we go together to get all our groceries for the week (usually Trader Joe’s because it’s awesome) and split the cost down the middle.  We generally get exactly what we need, no excess.  And if we decide on Wednesday we want to eat something that’s not in the house? Too bad, put it in on the list for next week.  This is an amazing way to save money and to avoid food waste. The mealprepping process is messy and experimental when you’re first starting out.  But with practice you will get it down to a science and figure out exactly what you need.  We probably spend about an hour grocery shopping, and 2-2 1/2 hours cooking each Sunday.  I usually take this time as well to reorganize and clean out the fridge.
  5. Gratitude Journaling – Some people make this a daily habit.  I choose instead to take 15-20 minutes each Sunday to reflect on the week that has just passed, as well as the week ahead.  I set my intentions for the week and this helps me to start Monday morning with the most positive mindset possible.  Cleaning your house is important, but I would argue that cleaning your mind out each week is even more important.

That’s it.

These are the things that I cannot go to bed on Sunday without having completed.  If I do, I feel very thrown off and unprepared.  Even with these 5 essential activities, there is plenty of time left in the space around them to relax and recharge.  Use this time to catch up on reading, catch up on work/emails (if that’s something necessary for your Monday success), or even catch up on sleep.  Technically I don’t think its scientifically possible to “catch up” on sleep, but naps are always nice 🙂

If you are a keen observer, you will notice that I did NOT include working out on this list.  The truth is, I go to the gym just about every Monday-Friday, and most Saturdays.  So even though I am just a little obsessed with crossfit and working out, I am completely okay with taking Sundays to recover.  Sometimes we go for a nice, sunny walk with our pup, other times we just spend time with family, friends, or each other.

Last, but not least, GO TO BED EARLY.  I cannot reiterate enough: get a full, restful night of sleep on Sunday night.  If you start Monday morning grumpy, sleepy, and exhausted, not only will your Monday obligations be challenging and unpleasant, but I promise that this will carry throughout your week.  As I mentioned, you can’t just catch up on sleep, so it’s important to get at least 7-9 hours each night.

Happy Sunday, friends! I hope you all have a productive Sunday full of gratitude and good energy!

YOU GOAL GIRL!


So much to look forward to in the coming year.

Since it’s the last day of 2018, I’d like to take a quick intermission from my pregnancy series to talk about goal-setting and some goals I have for the upcoming year. I don’t really like to use the term “resolution” – that word conjures up images of grand schemes that fizzle out after the first couple weeks of January. To me GOALS is a more long term way of looking at New Years Resolutions. You can make and stick to goals at any time of the year, not just beginning on January 1st.


Goal-Setting 101

I’m not sure where I first heard about it, but I think the simplest guideline to setting goals is to make sure they are SMART. I mean obviously you don’t want to set dumb goals *eyeroll*. But if you just say your goal is “to lose weight”, for instance… how would you even know when or if that goal has been met? So make your goals…

  1. Specific – write down your goal using specific language rather than ambiguous terms. What do you want to accomplish, where and why? “I want to lose 15 pounds” is much more specific than lose weight. Also, what specific steps can be taken to attain that goal? “I will go to the gym 4 days a week” or “I will not eat desserts 6 out of 7 days of the week.” Those are both very specific steps that can be taken to help you achieve your goal of losing 15 pounds.
  2. Measurable – make the goal something that you can actually objectively track the progress of. You can’t track an ambiguously phrased “lose weight”, but you can step on a scale each day to measure how much of the 15 pounds you’ve lost. Seeing the progress in real time will actually do wonders for your momentum and motivation.
  3. Attainable – YES, even goals are confined to the laws of physics. I know, I know, we all wish we could just have one million dollars by tomorrow, but this is not a realistic or attainable desire. It is attainable to make a goal to “save up $5000 in 6 months” or something like that. It is attainable to “lose 15 pounds by next Christmas”. Make sure the goal is actually something that you can achieve and not just a wild fantasy you have, otherwise nothing but frustration will ensue.
  4. Relevant – I guess this means a goal you set should be something that’s worthwhile to you while also in line with your other goals. Your goals should complement each other and help push you to be exactly who you want to be.
  5. Time-bound – I think this might be the most important of them all. Exactly by WHEN do you plan to meet your goal? “I want to lose 15 pounds.” By tomorrow? As if. Set a time limit. “I want to lose 15 pounds by June 30, 2019.” Thats about a 6 month time frame. Not only would this be perfectly feasible, but the sense of urgency that a time limit sets will allow you to stay focused and motivated.

I want to mention one more goal-setting guideline that is not included in this model but I think is absolutely CRUCIAL. WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN ON PAPER. Put them in a place where you will see them and be reminded of them daily. Each day ask yourself, “What have I done today to bring myself closer to my goals?” Every day you should do at least one thing, no matter how small, that will propel you forward. Going back to the theoretical weight loss goal, maybe the one thing you did was make the choice to not eat the donuts your coworkers brought to work. AND THAT’S A HARD CHOICE, TRUST ME, I KNOW. But every day you have the chance to make little choices that add up to big changes. If you just have your goals floating around in your head, it will be harder to take real-life steps toward them. Writing them down makes them tangible.


My Goals for 2019

So what are MY goals for 2019?? I may have a couple…

Maybe that last goal isn’t quite measurable or specific, but that one may be the most important to me of them all. I am going to be a mom. It is still crazy to me but each day I will do whatever I can to make sure that little baby feels loved and safe.

Each of these is important to me for different reasons, but they are all intended to help me be the happiest, healthiest, and most successful I can be. Some of these goals are stepping stones to even longer term goals (education, career, etc.). I have been especially overwhelmed lately with the concept of getting a graduate degree, especially with the unexpected little bundle of joy that will be here before I know it. My goals have had to shift a lot from what they would have been were I not now growing my little family.

But that’s okay. That’s just life. Life is unexpected and will always throw curveballs your way. What’s important is the ability to remain flexible and adapt and grow with those changes. Maybe 2018 didn’t end for you exactly as you would have planned, but you’re about to have 365 brand new, shiny and fresh chances to make the most of each day, to grow and to learn and to appreciate all of the blessings that life gives you. You are breathing and you are alive and this coming year is going to be SPECTACULAR. ✭

Spring Cleaning

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My life is about to change.  A LOT.  I’ve been in Miami for 5 years and my boyfriend has been in Miami almost his whole life.  We have both been itching to get out and experience living in a different (read: cheaper!!) city.  When we are ready to buy a house there is NO WAY Miami would be an option.  I am from Dallas and recently found out my grandmother’s health is not in great condition, so we saw this as a perfect opportunity to not only move over there to spend time with family, but as a stepping stone to save money for our future house.  All of this has happened rather quickly, and the moving process is well underway.

But this is not the point of this post.  As I have been packing up my apartment, I have been reflecting on just how much STUFF I have.  Clothes, shoes, and jewelry that I never wear.  Hair products and makeup that I never use.  Kitchen tools that I don’t need.  Books I bought six years ago and never “got around” to reading.  This list of utterly useless junk that I haven’t touched in over a year (or in some cases years) is endless.  It is simply not necessary for me to move halfway across the country with all of these material things that are not of use to me.  What’s more, what if they would be USEFUL to someone else? Someone in need who hasn’t been as fortunate as me to be able to mindlessly buy a pair of high heels from Target??? High heels which were worn NOT EVEN ONCE.

All at once the realization hit me that all of these things aren’t just creating clutter in my physical space, but in my mental space as well.  Having more clothes just means more laundry which means more stress.  Unnecessary clutter barrages our mind with stimuli and makes relaxation more difficult.  I’ve been at work the last few days and just trying to mentally sort through all of the crap I have to literally sort through has been causing me anxiety.

I have spent years collecting things, following the misconception that more stuff equals more happiness.  But this is just NOT TRUE.  It is not the new dress or the new pair of earrings that will make you happy.  The memories you create whilst wearing those items will do more for your life satisfaction than the dress or earrings ever will.

The more I box up things to give to those in need, the lighter and more mentally clear I feel.  I don’t need all these things.  Getting rid of these things is allowing those that are truly important to rise to the surface.  I’m not saying you have to literally throw away all your clothes, but if you  haven’t worn something at least 2 or 3 times throughout the last year, I promise you can live without it.  I challenge you to undergo a round of spring cleaning, revisit your closet, your kitchen, your life.  Eliminate those things which are not essential and make room for things that matter more.  Make more room for new clothes, new friends, new experiences.

Get rid of the unnecessary and “It is astounding what will flow into that space that will enrich you, your life, and your family.”